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The 12 tenets of Kifflom

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 17 Sep 2013   Posted by Morten Østby

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These are the indisputable facts of Epsilon, as found on EpsilonProgram.com:

  1. The world is 157 years old – FACT!
  2. Dinosaurs are a lie that people believe because they are weak – FACT!
  3. You are happy, you just don’t know it – FACT!
  4. We all come from the same tree – FACT!
  5. Everyone is related to everyone else, except for people with red hair – FACT!
  6. Sperm does not exist – it is a lie spread by biology teachers – along with everything else you have ever been told – FACT!
  7. Men are supposed to lie with nine new partners a week. Women are supposed to lie with six, except for in July, when they must lie with five men a day – FACT!
  8. Aliens exist and are present on earth. If you have a birth mark, you may be descended from Kraff, the famous Emperor of the 4th Paradigm – FACT!
  9. Trees talk, but only some people hear them – FACT!
  10. People who believe in something live much longer than atheists, and they have eternal life thrown in for good measure – FACT!
  11. If you believe this and turn you hands and wallet over to EPSILONISM, you’ll live a happy life. Otherwise you are doomed – FACT!
  12. KIFFLOM – HAPPINESS IS YOURS! KIFFLOM!

If you didn’t know this, maybe you should read the Epsilon Tract.

Is there any hints or hidden references out of this text?

There has been speculations that there should excist a special tree in the woods of San Andreas, but so far there’s found an old fallen tree, with nothing more to it, and a tree close to Blueberry with a glitch that makes it possible to somehow get inside of it, but there’s nothing more interesting to it. There’s also roumours of trees with numbers on them, only visible by using thermo goggles. Many hunters have also been out to find dinosaurs and aliens, not succeeding in this. Non of this has been supported by pictures or video evidence.

 





 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Written by Morten Østby


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